How it Feels to be Perpetually Single

Okay, let's just chat for a few minutes about something scary... That's right, being single! 

So, for any of you who don't know me very well/ at all, I am single... So single... Like seriously, I have only been on two dates in me life and I am pretty sure both times they were pity dates. I have never been in a relationship, although I want one, it has just never worked out that way for me. Now that most of you probably feel bad for me now, I should probably tell you that you shouldn't feel sorry because I have recently come to accept my singleness.

Most of you have probably heard of the term "Perpetually Single", which means that you are the person who is never in a relationship. You probably have a friend who fits this description or you yourself are that person, either way, the forever feeling of loneliness is out there.

It is hard to perfectly explain how it feels to always be single, if you ask two Perpetually Single People (P.S.P for short) they will probably have two similar, yet different responses. Some people might be single by choice while others may long for a significant other. So, I can only answer for myself when I talk about be a P.S.P. 

Anyway, for me being a P.S.P is a love/hate relationship (Which is probably the closest thing I have had to a relationship, ha ha ha). I have always wanted a boyfriend and the idea of being married and having kids someday is quite appealing to me. But at the same time, because I have never been in a relationship before the idea of actually being in one is unreal and the more I think about it the more scared of it I become because it is new and unfamiliar to me. Even if I somehow found a guy who was interested in me and would make a pretty great boyfriend, I wouldn't know how to go about making that relationship happen and I would probably mess the whole thing up! One thing I have learned is that it takes more than just finding the right person for a P.S.P to finally have their long awaited relationship because we don't know what the heck we are doing! Dating has never been our thing and it takes a while for us to get into the swing of things. So sometimes just being single can seem a lot easier and more comfortable for us. 

I literally hate it when people think they know how to fix my P.S problem or think they are somehow an expert on my own personal love life and take it upon themselves to tell me everything I am doing wrong. Although these family members, friends, and sometimes strangers think they are doing you a favor and only want the best for you, us P.S.P know that this is literally helping no one. Honestly, does it make you feel any better when you tell me things like, "If you would only do______ than you would have a boyfriend", or "You really need to put yourself out there more", or "I'm just worried about you because I don't want you to be alone", The list goes on. Although I know people often times mean well and do want the best for me, I am going to be completely honest. Do you know how many times I have held back tears when hearing people talk about my lack of relationships? Do you know how many times I have have brought on panic attacks from a personal realization that it is 100% possible that I might die alone? Do you understand that I have cried myself to sleep at night because every one of my friends are in relationships and seeing them together sometimes brings thoughts to my brain that I will never experience the joys of intimacy like that? Do you know how many times I have thought that I will die before having my first kiss? Trust me when I say that my being single hurts me a lot more that it hurts you and you have no expertise and no right to comment on my love life. 

There are also a lot of people who think they are being helpful when they say things like, "Don't worry, it will happen some day?" or "When you stop thinking about it you'll find him", or "When I was single I felt the exact same way, you just need to______". First of all, we need to stop telling everyone that the right person will come some day. There are a lot of people who have lived their entire life on this planet and have never found the right person. We need to accept the fact that sometimes people die single, it's not a crime and it is definitely possible. Honestly, when people tell me things like that I often feel like people are not listening to me and are only reciting a memorized script that society has ingrained into everyone's heads because this is the way we are "supposed to react". Often times I don't want to hear reassurance that I will someday find a man, sometimes I just want someone to listen to me and not try to offer me advice or condolences. Just let me vent, I trusted you enough to open up about this inner emotional side to me and I don't want you to ruin the moment by adding scripted dialog. If I ask for advice give it, but if not just listen to me. 

Honestly, I have been feeling bummed out about being a P.S.P for months now and the only thing that has made me feel better is watching inspiring videos of people talking about how to handle being a P.S.P and writing out my feelings about it right here. 

I give my love and appreciation to everyone who has tried to help me and wants to help me. I honestly love it when people try to listen to me and want what is best for me. I personally am not the easiest person to get to open up about personal topics like this. But, in all seriousness and respect to you guys, just let me be me and don't try to fix my relationship status unless I ask for it. It is harder on me than you after all.        

     

Women Ordination

Okay, so this is a topic I have been thinking about for a while. I mean no harm to anyone else and their opinion on the manner, I just have a thought and I am so tired of being too scared to comment on someone else's blog post about this. All those who oppose my opinion please just hear me out, I have no problem with opposing views just as long as you are respectful toward mine.
So there is a movement going around called "The Ordination of Women", and they are upset about the fact that in the LDS Church men have the priesthood and women do not. Their argument; gender inequality, this apparently is unfair and has no business being in the church of God. To those of you women or men who feel this it the truth, do not believe that I have not considered your point of view and have waved it away before looking at it. I have in fact looked at views supporting OW and I do have to say that it is easy to find arguments to support those opinions.
Before I really get started I would like to share a list with you that I learned about in seminary. This list will teach you a little bit about what you feel might be personal revelation and how to determine if it really is what you think it is:
Does your idea....
1. Support current teachings in the scriptures and words of the prophets and apostles?
2. Is it given through the chain of command (People who have higher authority)?
3. Is the person influencing this idea worthy?
4. Visitations (This has to do with if it is given to you through angels, but most of the time this is not the case and this might not apply to our current topic) D&C 129.
5. Common consent (Is it something that has been sustained by the church)? D&C 28:13.
6. Does it honor agency? 2 Corinthians 3:17.
7. Is it selfish or unselfish?
Now some of you might say that the Ordination of women follows a few of these things, but if it does not follow everything on the list it is most likely not the kind of revelation you think it is (Sorry, it's just a thought I have come to know).
Now let me address the "issue" of gender inequality in our church. What gender inequality? It is just the fact that women do not hold the priesthood, that we can not hold offices that require a priesthood holder? What it is? For most of the part I have seen many women recognized in our church for all the wonderful work they do and for the most part men honor the duties of women. How many church leaders out there have not recognized that if it were not for the help and guidance of their spouses or other female influence they would not have been able to do the things they do? Women underestimate their importance in the church, they lower their own responsibilities in their eyes because it is not what the men get to do. Notice how I use the word "Get" not have to do, not need to do, "Get" to do, the duties we have as women are privileges, they are not obligations. For those of you who do not believe women are respected in our church just look at proverbs 31, it shows us that the responsibilities of women are so important that God had to have most of a chapter dedicated to it. (These versus are 10-31).
I liked to think of the responsibility in our church like the checks and balances of our government system. Don't know what checks and balances are? Well it pretty much means that jobs are distributed among the three branches of government so that one person does not hold the power, or in our case one gender group. Lets think of men as the executive branch, there are less of them in our church and they represent with the authority of the priesthood and the duties that fall with it. Women are like the legislative branch, there are more of us in the church and we are not always recognized individually because we are not the executive branch, but we have the power to make sure the men are in line and do their responsibility as the leader, we get to call them out when things go wrong and make them do their job right, we can also come up with ideas for the men to pass. God is like the judicial branch, he tells us what is what and when we have a question as to what works in the system his word is final. When one branch takes the duties of another branch to themselves they leave the other branch useless and they themselves have way too much power and the whole system falls. The same idea applies to women being ordained to the priesthood, I think it is safe to say that if women had the priesthood there would be no need for men because they would slack more in their duties as priesthood holders because they know the women will be there to clean up the mess. In a way women not having the priesthood gives men something that makes them special and gives them a purpose because they know they have to provide for what the women do not have and women do the same because men can not give themselves complete support and need help when they are falling. In the end everything is up to God and both sides can ask for him to help.
 Understanding that fact that women can not be ordained to the priesthood is an understanding that women have much bigger fish to fry, women have too much to do in the church already when you think about it, they are the organizers who keep the glue together, without them things would not work right. Priesthood is not an equal right to be ordained to, it has nothing to do with the fact that men in the church don't want women to have power, it has to do with the fact that priesthood is a divine right given to men, women have a divine right to be the glue of the church, we hold things together and do everything the men can not do.
Women don't have the ordination of the priesthood, but they have so much more. They have the blessings of the priesthood without even holding it. Why would you want to be in charge of priesthood duties, which leaves the men nothing, and be responsible for the duties you already have? I can not change your mind on the matter, and I accept that, you are entitled to your own thoughts, but in my opinion you can not change the divine right God has already given to you... And why would you want to?